"Behind the tech that makes vinyl so special", Not again... Options

[Canar]

http://www.humansinvent.com/#!/9564/be...nyl-so-special/

This was reposted on Boing Boing.

Ugh. Not again... The same tired subjectivist tropes: Talk to "authorities" instead of doing science.

[Porcus]

I thought the tech that made 'vinyl' largely so special as an end-user format, was the standardization of speed, center hole, stylus compatibility and ultimately the introduction of stereo?

[dhromed]

I thought the tech that made 'vinyl' largely so special as an end-user format, was the standardization of speed, center hole, stylus compatibility and ultimately the introduction of stereo?

You've been misinformed. It's the unmistakable near-magical properties of analog (re)production.

Few people know this, but all vinyl is in fact produced by multidimensional cutters that exist partially in cabali-yau spaces and use a specially transformed Julia fractal superimposed on the quantum foam at planck lengths to inscribe infinite audio resomolutions onto that revered plastic pancake. Before this step takes place, the original waveform is quantumchromodynamically mixed with the brainwaves of a child playing, a loving couple, the harmonics of all organisms in a healthy ecosystem, friendship, and a single pleasant dream. This adds the warmth and life to the recording.

[Nessuno]

Few people know this, but all vinyl is in fact produced by multidimensional cutters that exist partially in cabali-yau spaces
[...]
This adds the warmth and life to the recording.

All this can be easily reproduced in the digital domain by a new class of DSPs with a multicore singleton-identities philosophic coprocessor (the INTEL "Symposium" family), at a cost of a little increase in jitter, which can be then minimized using neutrine-ready quantical signal cables (Van den Hul "Gran Sasso" (*)) .

(*) For non italian readers, see here.