Erik, you should do it by ear, it's by far the easiest. (the other method is a thorough audiological examination, then measuring the response of the headphone - it won't be much more accurate, if at all)
Your auditory frequency response shouldn't vary too much except usual 'age lowpass'. (excluding accidents and illnesses [like techno-patries

])
Try this: use tones with frequencies same as ones at the equaliser, set the volume, so that 1kHz is precieved as not being too loud (this should be ~70 dB SPL), play the tones at the same frequencies as the bands, equalise to 'equally annoying' response.
(Yes, it's totally unscientific)
If you can't hear 20 kHz at 0, don't bump it up for your own health.
With foobar2k it's easy and its equaliser is of high quality. (hint: tone://hz)
My curve with Senn HD497 suggests that these are a bit on the bright side. (or my ears

)