http://isiclabs.com/hacker.html
Funny and kinda sad at the same time as there are enough ignorant people to actually believe this stuff.
Full Version: How to know if your son is a hacker
wow. is this guy serious? that article contains some of the most illogical and simply retarded statements i have heard in a long time! very entertaining.
thx for the laugh DreamTactix291 
my top laughs (warning, SPOILER):
1. the whole introduction.
2. "BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War"
3. "If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores..."
--> ROTFL how uninformed can you get?
4. "Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers."
5. "If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites."
--> yeeeah... an indication that MUST be seen in conjunction with DDOS...
6. "Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards..."
--> so every gamer is a 'hacker'? lol.
7. "Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash""
--> OMG, the most feared tools on earth, hide ppl, HIDE!!
this whole article is either fake (I really hope so), or written by a very uninformed, naive, moral and close minded individual (with good intentions though).
edit: thinking about it and seeing the poll on the site... well made
my top laughs (warning, SPOILER):
1. the whole introduction.
2. "BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War"
3. "If your son has requested a new "processor" from a company called "AMD", this is genuine cause for alarm. AMD is a third-world based company who make inferior, "knock-off" copies of American processor chips. They use child labor extensively in their third world sweatshops, and they deliberately disable the security features that American processor makers, such as Intel, use to prevent hacking. AMD chips are never sold in stores..."
--> ROTFL how uninformed can you get?
4. "Quake is an online virtual reality used by hackers."
5. "If your son spends more than thirty minutes each day on the computer, he may be using it to DOS other peoples sites."
--> yeeeah... an indication that MUST be seen in conjunction with DDOS...
6. "Computer hackers are often limited by conventional computer hardware. They may request "faster" video cards..."
--> so every gamer is a 'hacker'? lol.
7. "Popular hacker software includes "Comet Cursor", "Bonzi Buddy" and "Flash""
--> OMG, the most feared tools on earth, hide ppl, HIDE!!
this whole article is either fake (I really hope so), or written by a very uninformed, naive, moral and close minded individual (with good intentions though).
edit: thinking about it and seeing the poll on the site... well made
also have a look at the comments, there are some real gems there:
"I've noticed a pattern wherein "hackers" descend upon Adequacy in droves whenever an article like this appears. I don't know who is inviting them -- I suspect they have a P.E.A.R.L. "skript" for surveillance of Adequacy.org which transmits a call to the "hacker" underground whenever some "tasty hacks" get posted at Adequacy.org. They are actively using our own superior knowledge against us, while also carrying on their Disruption Of Services attacks and posting flames laden with profanity, invective, and terrorist threats. God.
Before too many more show up, some terminology in this article should be edited to reduce it's utility as "hacker" lore. For example, "L*LO" is enough of a clue for a concerned father who suspects his home computer is being hijacked by the Lunix underground. But it doesn't give away enough detail for the "hackers" to take and use against us, or other innocent victims. (...)"
"It hadn't occurred to me that real hackers might use this article as a source of hacking information. It was written to provide as much information as possible to concerned parents of computer hackers. Obviously, if I were thinking like a devious hacker, I would have known that they would try to turn something good into something evil, by reading this article for their own purposes.
Perhaps there should be a disclaimer at the top, stating that "by reading this article, you implicitly accept Jesus as your saviour". That would put a stop to any hacking, I'd say! "
"I've noticed a pattern wherein "hackers" descend upon Adequacy in droves whenever an article like this appears. I don't know who is inviting them -- I suspect they have a P.E.A.R.L. "skript" for surveillance of Adequacy.org which transmits a call to the "hacker" underground whenever some "tasty hacks" get posted at Adequacy.org. They are actively using our own superior knowledge against us, while also carrying on their Disruption Of Services attacks and posting flames laden with profanity, invective, and terrorist threats. God.
Before too many more show up, some terminology in this article should be edited to reduce it's utility as "hacker" lore. For example, "L*LO" is enough of a clue for a concerned father who suspects his home computer is being hijacked by the Lunix underground. But it doesn't give away enough detail for the "hackers" to take and use against us, or other innocent victims. (...)"
"It hadn't occurred to me that real hackers might use this article as a source of hacking information. It was written to provide as much information as possible to concerned parents of computer hackers. Obviously, if I were thinking like a devious hacker, I would have known that they would try to turn something good into something evil, by reading this article for their own purposes.
Perhaps there should be a disclaimer at the top, stating that "by reading this article, you implicitly accept Jesus as your saviour". That would put a stop to any hacking, I'd say! "
another good reply:
another thing thats actually not very funny is how this ppl belive that usa is something clean towards the rest of the world, seems like they never really moved their ass around the globe...
QUOTE
Thank you for that informative article. I've been reading Adequacy for a while now, soaking up so much valuable factual information. But this article struck such a nerve in me that I've decided to post my experiences. Hopefully, you all will find it useful.
I have to relate the story of a friend of mine who faded into the Computer Underworld (and worse!) after getting something called an Imac. I wasn't even aware that it was a computer at first; I mean, it was Orange, for crying out loud! He kept going on and on about how easy it was for him to use, but I couldn't get the hang of it. I couldn't even hold the mouse right! And where's the button on those things, anyway? He tells me the whole mouse is a button! weird.
But his latest thing is this 'Ipod' he keeps talking about. He keeps talking about keeping his MP3 with him AT ALL TIMES! He keeps talking about how he wants to 'sync' music with his Ipod. I don't want him coming over anymore -- he may steal my music by 'sync'ing my entire valuable collection of LP's!
But only recently did I realize the true threat that Imacs and Ipods present -- they are made by a satanic company, to further Satan's own, nefarious ends! I mean, their logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it -- how much more satanic can you get? And I read the company was started by two Gay men in San Francisco -- one of them was a former technician in the Red Army named "Woczniakski" .
Your article has given me inspiration to confront my friend about his Communist, Homosexual, Satanic life. I hope to bring him back to the side of all that is good in the world. I Personally bought a copy of Windows XP, and will put it on his Imac tonight. He'll thank me for it later.
I have to relate the story of a friend of mine who faded into the Computer Underworld (and worse!) after getting something called an Imac. I wasn't even aware that it was a computer at first; I mean, it was Orange, for crying out loud! He kept going on and on about how easy it was for him to use, but I couldn't get the hang of it. I couldn't even hold the mouse right! And where's the button on those things, anyway? He tells me the whole mouse is a button! weird.
But his latest thing is this 'Ipod' he keeps talking about. He keeps talking about keeping his MP3 with him AT ALL TIMES! He keeps talking about how he wants to 'sync' music with his Ipod. I don't want him coming over anymore -- he may steal my music by 'sync'ing my entire valuable collection of LP's!
But only recently did I realize the true threat that Imacs and Ipods present -- they are made by a satanic company, to further Satan's own, nefarious ends! I mean, their logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it -- how much more satanic can you get? And I read the company was started by two Gay men in San Francisco -- one of them was a former technician in the Red Army named "Woczniakski" .
Your article has given me inspiration to confront my friend about his Communist, Homosexual, Satanic life. I hope to bring him back to the side of all that is good in the world. I Personally bought a copy of Windows XP, and will put it on his Imac tonight. He'll thank me for it later.
another thing thats actually not very funny is how this ppl belive that usa is something clean towards the rest of the world, seems like they never really moved their ass around the globe...
I read this as fantasticly subtle troll gathering - its a gem : )
QUOTE
But only recently did I realize the true threat that Imacs and Ipods present -- they are made by a satanic company, to further Satan's own, nefarious ends! I mean, their logo is an apple with a bite taken out of it -- how much more satanic can you get? And I read the company was started by two Gay men in San Francisco -- one of them was a former technician in the Red Army named "Woczniakski" .
Heh, reminds me of this.
What scares me is how so many posters there don't get what is a very very obvious take-off (or irony, for those outside the USA ).
It reminds me of the similarly misunderstood
http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/
http://www.bonsaikitten.com/
etc etc
Cheers,
David.
).It reminds me of the similarly misunderstood
http://www.blackpeopleloveus.com/
http://www.bonsaikitten.com/
etc etc
Cheers,
David.
The Bonsai Kittens have always scared me. Poor poor kitties 
I laughed when i clicked on "integrity" and i got to read a page about W. Bush
SOme of the hypertext links are pretty funny too.. leaves you in no doubt that the author is writing a spoof, or is a rabid Republican.
Has anyone noticed WHEN this article was posted?
Old news is so exciting...
Old news is so exciting...
QUOTE(William @ Jun 3 2005, 01:54 PM)
Has anyone noticed WHEN this article was posted?
Old news is so exciting...
Old news is so exciting...
Yeah it burst my bubble a bit too
- still funny though, i dont think i read it before.
QUOTE
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
Doesn't this guy:
1. Know how to spell.
2. Know that crack use is as illegal as 'hacking'
I wonder if Berkley knows they are all 'hackers'
He doesn't even know the right terms. Hacking != Cracking. Same tools, different intentions.
- Lyx
- Lyx
QUOTE(ddrawley @ Jun 3 2005, 09:53 PM)
QUOTE
BSD, Lunix, Debian and Mandrake are all versions of an illegal hacker operation system, invented by a Soviet computer hacker named Linyos Torovoltos, before the Russians lost the Cold War. It is based on a program called "xenix", which was written by Microsoft for the US government. These programs are used by hackers to break into other people's computer systems to steal credit card numbers. They may also be used to break into people's stereos to steal their music, using the "mp3" program. Torovoltos is a notorious hacker, responsible for writing many hacker programs, such as "telnet", which is used by hackers to connect to machines on the internet without using a telephone.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
Your son may try to install "lunix" on your hard drive. If he is careful, you may not notice its presence, however, lunix is a capricious beast, and if handled incorrectly, your son may damage your computer, and even break it completely by deleting Windows, at which point you will have to have your computer repaired by a professional.
Doesn't this guy:
1. Know how to spell.
2. Know that crack use is as illegal as 'hacking'
I wonder if Berkley knows they are all 'hackers'
Doesn't this guy:
1. Know it's a joke?
2. Know it's a joke?
I did respond after a pretty short glance.
I have seen similar people with such braindead ideas.
It would not surprise me at all for such a posting to be sincere.
There are plenty of half, or completely misinformed people who will post a web page.
There are plenty of newspapers that will 'seriously' post articles about wolf boys and alien/human babies. Scarier still, some believe them.
The web is a whole lot cheaper and easier to publish to.
I have seen similar people with such braindead ideas.
It would not surprise me at all for such a posting to be sincere.
There are plenty of half, or completely misinformed people who will post a web page.
There are plenty of newspapers that will 'seriously' post articles about wolf boys and alien/human babies. Scarier still, some believe them.
The web is a whole lot cheaper and easier to publish to.
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