Hi, I want a flash player that has a built in USB connector (that means no parts to lose) AND can function as a standard USB flash drive (means NO software to install). Also, I want it to play VBR MP3 at the very least and have a standard (non propietary (sp?)) battery. Of course good sound, battery life, interface, etc etc also matters, but I must have those listed functions.

Is there anything that meets my specs?

Try this...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/S1_MP3_Player

There's a lot of such player floating around. IIRC Creative Muvo has such capability. If I go to a big computer mall in my city, I can find a bunch of Chinese-made MP3 players / USB drive thingies.