Guaranteed to add at least 23% more "foot-tappetiness" to your HIFI system.

The Amber Tweak

I keep looking for signs that this might be a joke, but 1388.com sells AC cords as well, and says about themselves:



I'm speechless. I don't know what to say.

I don´t know what to say either. But I am sure as hell LMAO.

You know, I looked over both links, and I have to say, I think that this guys whole site is a tongue-in-cheek joke, but, if you're really this gullible, he will kindly take your money to the bank.

Dex

Oh my god, this may be proof that over-subjectivity should be made illegal ....wow..

Classic.

The author, Joe Lee, to use the vernacular, is "Crazier than a shit-house rat."

L8R

Yeah, I too "quivered" when I was nearly double-charged for my donut yesterday, a natural reaction when getting ripped off

This is even more impressive:
http://www.1388.com/joelee/8-9-2000/index.html

(enhance the picture quality of your dvd by putting gel on it!)

"Buffering or re-clocking the data cannot totally correct timing errors or jitter."

Of course it can.

Consider ripping a CD. When you play it back from your HDD, that's re-clocking the data. Are they suggesting that my PC's HDD not only stores the bits from a CD in .wav file, but also stores the relative timing information (jitter) as well? Yeah Right!


Cheers,
David.

OH MY GOD!

This is a good one too


It is funny in a way
-
Ge Someone

Funny.

I just received a mail order catalog today from Audio Advisor and was looking at it and noticed they are selling Auric Illuminator gel. I read the description and was LMAO.

My favorite thing in the catalog was part of the description they wrote for the Creek Audio OBH-10 Remote Volume Control (only $249.95):



http://www.audioadvisor.com/store/productd...olume%20Control

First they make it sound like you might want to consider checking yourself into a psych ward for even having the urge to change the volume. Then they make it sound like being able to change the volume without having to get up out of your chair is the most revolutionary thing anyone ever thought of...well, I guess it was 30 years ago.

Rob

The way they've written it is hillarious. But Creek do make very high quality equipment. Many decent amps don't have a remote control. (UK products that is, and Creek is a UK company.)

The strangest part: "The Creek OBH-10 comes complete with miniature black box containing the infrared sensor and motorized volume control, external power supply and a sleek 13-button infrared remote control." 13 buttons?! to change the volume!!!??? Let's hope it's multi-function.


D.

About the gel thing.. You also get a black marker along with it. Why black and not green? "Because it absorbs better" Duh! I really like this part:But what baffles me the most, is the claimed improvement on DVDs or VCDs.Now how can that be? I mean it's compressed digital data that is either read correctly or not, in which case you will be likely to have visual glitches. There's no timing issues involved because upon decompression the signal will have been reclocked anyway, so that argument doesn't count. How can a gel interact with MPEG video? Massage the bits?

Another thing that bothers me, is that you don't know anything about the toxicity of the substances sold to you. For all I know it could be some waste product of the chemical industry or that blue fluid used in commercials for female hygiene products.

Joe Lee also claims that "Pigs can fly!" How's that for credibility?

I've got a tweak of my own:

Pop cans.

By putting full pop cans on top of various components, I am able to control the exact qualities of the sounds I hear! The effects are different with different types of pop, though. For example, Schweppes Ginger Ale makes the sound crisper and clearer, while A&W Root Beer gives it a lovely sweetness.

I have yet to try beer cans, though...

Not a problem in my own highly tweaked system; you can eliminate the build up of a static charge from air friction by simply eliminating the air! It took a little doing, but for under 50 dollars US I was able to purchase and rig a small vacuum pump which feeds through the underside of my CD system, and enough silicone sealing material to ensure an air-tight enclosure. It takes approximately 30 seconds to pump the air out once the door is shut, at which point an electromagnetic clamp binds the evacuation tube closed. A nice after-effect is that light travels ever-so-slightly-faster in a vacuum, allowing my laser's response time to achieve a true 299,792,458 m/s (metres per second). The differences, though subtle, should be apparent to any educated listener.

This enhancement process is called "Vacuole Stereo Definition." When I get time, I'll try adding a few pop cans and see whether I can refine it a little... or perhaps an IBC rootbeer bottle would offer a smoother listening experience?

- M.

This whole thread is class! Love it!

Oops, I missed the point. I was supposed to paint those pop cans different colors and sell them for $50 each, with a marketing campaign talking about "active resonant fluid damping"!

Rest assured, though, that that's the LAST freebie you get!

The ultimate in audio insanity: Trying to stick a big, black, funny CD into a CD player!

Well, I had a neighbor once whose daughter managed to get most of a peanut-butter-and-jelly sandwich inserted into the CD drive on her laptop....

- M.

Once, in the time of 5 inches floppies, someone complained to the hotline that he couldn't insert the third floppy into the drive, because there was no more room in it.

Gotta love the review quotes:



...Well neither did I, but there you go...



...increased overall picture resolution and depth perception. I wonder if their depth perception enhancements would work for people missing an eye and with treated glasses...?



...hmm indeed.